A Parent's Guide to Raising a Child with ADD/ADHD
A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Child with ADD/ADHD
Raising a child with an attention disorder can feel overwhelming but it doesn’t have to!
Supportive parenting is integral to treatment for children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Kids with an attention disorder usually have difficulties with problem-solving skills and social interaction, and such symptoms can worsen when they don't receive proper care.
As much as they are taught desirable vs. undesirable behavior, the disorder still makes them more vulnerable to impulsivity. So, parents need to provide extra guidance to support their kids in areas like thinking, planning, organizing, completing tasks, and controlling impulses.
One of the most crucial area parents can focus on is behavior management, as it helps the child acquire executive skills. Note that this requires compassion, patience, and plenty of support, but it's the only way to improve your child's chances for success.
This guide will cover practical details that parents can leverage to help their children overcome self-doubt and reduce impulsive behavior.
What is ADD/ADHD?
ADD/ADHD is a condition that affects the ability to focus, concentrate and perform tasks effectively. Children with ADHD often have difficulty learning new things, expressing themselves, making decisions, and remembering things. They may also experience problems with social skills, problem-solving abilities, and language development.
Naturally, it's normal for all kids to be restless, distractible, and oblivious to teachers' and parents' directives sometimes. But kids with ADHD are more likely to behave this way even much more than their peers. Their inability to sit still, pay attention, and follow directives may lead to conflict at home and difficulty relating with children of their ages.
How to Identify ADD/ADHD In Your Child
There are specific symptoms of the disorder that can easily tell if your child has ADD/ADHD. These symptoms are categorized into two groups: inattentive behaviors and hyperactive or impulsive behaviors.
Inattentive Behaviors
This type is known as inattentive ADHD, and kids experiencing it tend to have a limited attention span -- they don't respond as well to instructions or directions. Such kids may:
Avoid activities
Have trouble concentrating
Have difficulty following instructions
Make careless mistakes
Have trouble organizing
Avoid sustainable effort
Be forgetful, keep losing things
Not seem to listen
Feel bored and distracted by things that don't excite them
Hyperactive or Impulsive Behaviors
Children with hyperactive-impulsive ADHD have impulsive and undisciplined behavior. These kids have difficulty controlling their emotions and impulses, and they tend to:
Fidget, have trouble staying in one place
Have trouble playing quietly
Run and climb excessively
Get irritated, angered, and possibly aggressive
Seem impatient and can't wait for their turn
Talk excessively and interrupt a lot
Be constantly in motion
Do things without thinking
Make careless mistakes
Some kids may only have the first group’s symptoms, while others may have only the latter. But most kids diagnosed with this disorder have a combination of both, which can lead to conflicts at home and problems in school. However, a child should not be diagnosed with ADHD based on a teacher's or a parent's report of the child being overly active or distracted.
Since the symptoms of ADHD may also result from other diagnoses like depression, anxiety, or trauma-related disorders, it's best to get a professional diagnosis. Children should only receive the diagnosis if they exhibit most of these symptoms at a level that's not normal for their age.
The Feelings/Emotions That Parents Experience
Most parents may initially not realize that their child's behaviors are part of ADD/ADHD. They may assume that the child misbehaving is a normal part of growth or that they are purposefully trying to be disobedient. As a parent, you're likely to suspect something is off if those behaviors or tendencies often occur or for more than six months.
Once diagnosed, you may feel ashamed about what other people think of your kid's behavior and wonder if you did something wrong. However, skills that model positive behavior, attention, and activities do not come naturally. Once you learn about this disorder and the suitable parental approaches, you'll understand how to help your child improve and do well.
Tips for Parents to Support Their Children and Care For Themselves
1. Teach Your Child to Do One Thing At a Time
When working with your child, try to focus on one task until completed, and don't try to work on everything at once. It will help the child stay focused and avoid distractions like talking. Keep it simple -- remember that your child is only as good as their effort.
2. Set Clear Expectations and Have an Accountablity System
Before leaving the house, make sure you have clearly defined expectations. You have to be clear about your expectations -- they should be specific than vague to help them remember what mom or dad said. Explain the way you want your child to behave in certain situations and how they will be held accountable if that expectation is not met. Also, remember to be patient with them! Having an attention disorder can make things more difficult for children to listen and follow through with tasks so try not to take their behavior personally.
3. Be Involved In Everything
Do your research, get informed on ADD/ADHD, and seek answers from experienced therapists. Have a healthy relationship with your child's healthcare providers and follow recommended treatments. Ensure that you follow through on any tasks that are being requested of you, by the wellness professionals, as your encouragement and support is very helpful to overall wellbeing on your child.
4. Talk About It and Be Your Kid's Best Advocate
Don't be afraid to speak to your child about ADD/ADHD -- being open and frank about it can support improvements. Discuss the signs and symptoms of ADHD and how to cope. Tell them that attention disorders are not something to be ashamed of; it is just part of their human experience and they can effectively manage most symptoms. You can even help them identify people they look up to, that also have attention disorders, and talk with them about their experiences with navigating symptoms.
5. Follow Your Child's Progress In School
ADHD can interfere with studies, and may prompt task-avoidant behaviors, so it's important to work with your child's school and teachers to determine if your kid could benefit from a 504 or an IEP plan. Visit the school often to meet with the teachers -- they may provide valuable feedback to help your kid's success.
6. Model To Your Child How to Make Friends
Children with ADD/ADHD are likely to be lonely and withdrawn, making it difficult to find friends. You can teach them to socialize by talking with them about things that interest them -- which they may have a lot to share about! It will help your child develop social, self-esteem, and communication skills. As a result, they are more likely to become comfortable in social situations.
7. Recognize and Highlight Their Strengths
Don’t forget about what makes your child amazing! Share, often, what you love and appreciate about them. Identify their unique strengths and also highlight any “ADD/ADHD superpowers” they have. Common superpowers often associated with attention disorders are: creativity, spontaneity, vibrant energy, resiliency, friendliness, empathy, sense of adventure, and the list goes on!
Your Relationship With Your Child Matters!
The first step to learning how to raise a child with ADD/ADHD starts with the proper diagnosis and then understanding everything about ADD/ADHD. Learn the specific needs of your child and how to manage the emotions that come with the care of an ADD/ADHD child.
Raising your child may be challenging, or even overwhelming, but how they see the world starts with you. As a parent, you can create a supportive home and school environment that will help improve your child's chances of success. Protect your child's self-esteem by being understanding, patient, and exciting.
At Paper Cranes Counseling, we understand the challenges and wonderfulness of parenting, as well as working specifically with neurodivergence. We're here to help by providing support and counseling to help you give the best experience for you and your child. Be sure to contact us today for a free consultation.
Shavonne James, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Therapist and founder of Paper Cranes Counseling, a private group practice connecting wellness seekers with culturally-affirming, holistic, care. They have openings for individuals that are working through matters of identity, interpersonal relationships, and the inner child. Contact them at www.papercranescounseling.com